Weakness

In my downstairs cupboard, there are two large size bags of M&Ms.  Typically, I do a sweep through the house before I start a diet in an attempt to minimize eating lots of something horrible in a weak moment, but, for reasons I won't get into quite yet there's a very good reasons for the M&Ms to be here.

When the candy came home Saturday night, I decided to just have one or two.  Maybe three.  It would be okay.  There wouldn't be much of a point hit, but I bet you know this story.  If I could eat only three or even just a small handful of candy, I wouldn't be counting points and using a shoe horn to get myself into my size 24 pants.  No, ladies and gents, wide open bags of snack foods are something that tempt me and are beyond my control.

I don't know how much candy I ate.  It's beyond calculation.  I could have dumped out the bag, weighed the contents and estimated, but other people were eating the candy as well and the entire amount of missing candy wasn't all consumed by me.

I decided to let one of the my personal tenants of the weight watchers program come into play.  Once a week, I will eat what I like without counting, weighing, logging or concern.  While I usually want to save this for a lovely dinner out with my husband, this week I used that for a weak moment and on candy I don't even really like.

I often wonder if I'll ever get to the point where an open bag of candy or crackers or potato chips don't tempt me.  I wonder if they're going to stop singing.  I wonder if I will stop thinking, obsessively, about the bag of candy in the cupboard.  Or the crackers.  Or the chips.  Does that ever get better?  Will I stop wanting it?